We all know that change isn't easy – but sometimes making the effort, especially when it comes to cultivating your very own self-respect, is a matter of living vs. just surviving. Having low confidence and low self-esteem doesn't make you a bad person, we've all made mistakes and can wallow in our sorrows, rather it provides an opportunity to reframe how you think about yourself and start becoming aware of your importance.

When you feel important, you never allow someone else’s success to diminish your self-worth. You become authentic, closer to your true self and regularly respect your values instead of compromising them to gain external validation from people you don't necessarily admire. This sort of behaviour can chip away at your self-confidence and even violate your inner guiding voice and your sense of right and wrong.

Undervaluing yourself is like shooting yourself in the foot. You're basically telling yourself that you don't deserve respect let alone your dreams. If these words resonate deeply and you're ready to make a positive change in your life in order to achieve your goals, it's time to learn the best ways to boost your confidence and practice the art of self-importance.

how to build confidence and self love

Importance of self-confidence: how to build self-esteem

1. Show up for yourself 

Self-respect means not allowing your negative voice to get the better of you – no more unlovable, unworthy, inadequate self-hating. It also means that you don't allow others who only have their own interests at heart to manipulate you. So when things get you down, don't hate, simply show up for yourself like you would your best friend.

2. Don’t take everything so personally

Sometimes when we feel low in confidence, we become hyper-sensitive. Every little comment here or there can get to you, making you tumble down that rabbit hole of self-deprecation again. Stop believing that everyone is out to get you or that everyone sees the negative in you. Practice and learn to let go of being thrown by every little thing. Leave behind the negative effects that often lead to frustration, anxiety, anger, resentment and disappointment.

3. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else

Give up thinking you have to conform to be accepted by others – you are not bound by what others think of you. Looking for other people's approval will only tire you out, and why would you want that anyway? If something doesn't resonate with you, don't force yourself to it – live to the beat of your own drum! Living authentically is the most natural way to boost your confidence, live with ease and be at peace. Find acceptance within yourself and you will feel important all the time, even when your expectations are not met. 

4. Be grateful and praise yourself

Let's go back to the deep-rooted feelings of what you think you deserve here: it is crucial that you separate who you are from what you have done. If you start to pick on yourself, then your inner bully will continue to break down your confidence. Instead, face your mistakes and your fears and learn from them. Embrace what you think, feel and believe as being important. Your feelings, thoughts, decisions and choices belong to you, so get friendly with them and stop hiding from them, feeling shame about them and making excuses for them.

5. Be kind to your mind

Whatever your past may hold, the good, the bad and the ugly, let it go and stop beating yourself up for your childhood. This only holds you back from achieving your dreams and goals and stomps on any nourishment of self-love and respect growing inside of you. Please stop reprimanding yourself for not being perfect and for getting things wrong at times. On many levels, being punished as a child leaves a lasting imprint causing many to believe they are unimportant as they are not perfect and deserve to be punished. This is utter nonsense and you are important.


READ NEXT: Tried and tested remedies and products to help increase confidence.

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