How to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

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How can you get a better understanding of why you feel the way you do? Well, in a word, self-awareness. But digging deeper, it's understanding the difference between primary and secondary emotions, because being able to manage your emotions in a way that is healthy for you and enables you to have better relationships is the key. Being able to understand someone else’s internal emotional processes and why they are reacting the way they are, what are they feeling, and how you can get better at interpreting them are all important pieces to the puzzle of managing your emotional intelligence. With different areas of life like social interactions, work interactions and family and relationships, it's crucial for us to notice things like timing, tone, words and body language to keep interaction with the people in your life happy, stress-free and healthy. Here are a few tips to boost your resilience you can try:

What You'll Need

  • Your own responsibility.

What You'll Do

  • Tag your feelings: challenge them – for example, are you really angry at your partner or colleague, or is there an underlying fear driving you?
  • Take responsibility for your emotions: it’s important to feel sad/bad sometimes. Once you’ve correctly tagged your feelings, try to accept that you are experiencing them. Allow yourself to feel that way, even if it’s unpleasant.
  • Listen to your body: people who aren’t self-aware often get physical symptoms like headaches, back pain and stomach issues. Is your body pointing towards unrecognised primary emotions?
  • Practice coping mechanisms: try breathing techniques, activating a support network, and self-care. These different tools can help you manage stress and mental health issues like anxiety and low mood. Just 10 minutes a day of meditation can significantly improve wellbeing. So stop, breathe and relax.
  • Listen: stop broadcasting for once, and start reading body language, listen to a tone. Take a step back.
  • Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes: there is always a reason for people to be unpleasant, fear being the most common one, often disguised as anger. If you take all the circumstances of a person’s life into consideration, you might understand better why they are reacting in a certain way.
  • Social hygiene: stay away from people and accounts that make you feel bad about yourself or stressed (some social media accounts make people feel worse about themselves). By practicing social hygiene you expose yourself to less stress and negative feelings, reserving energy for unavoidable difficult emotions in your life. The brain has a finite amount of processing energy, use it wisely.
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